THE 2009 GRAMMY AWARDS: THE SCOOP AS SEEN BY ME (Part I)

I have had a number of requests from friends and folks who were following my Facebook updates to elaborate on my experience at the Grammys this year. I have been 2 other times and they have all been really fun/not fun, but being that this one was 95% fun, I choose to write about this one. Also, it's been awhile since I updated this blog thinger and it's getting a little moldy in here.

So, where to start... This year, Death Cab was up for 2 Grammys, which is how I am allowed to attend the event in the first place. Some of you may think that I am fully capable of getting in there on my own but this simply is not the case for one reason: this weird corner of the music industry, the "major" and/or "popular" side, simply isn't my universe. The Grammys are a place where gods come to converse with goddesses, goddesses to award other goddesses, and random demi-gods get to act god-like; while peons like me get to be a fly on the wall (if "the wall" is defined as 11th row, center aisle seats). I tour manage indie rock bands for a living. No one in this other universe cares and I really like that aspect of the awards. It's a caricature of all of the reasons we started listening to punk rock 7"s when we were 12 ("we" being me).

It's a total treat to be able to dress up for a completely bizarre ceremony, where the President of the Grammy Foundation insists that it's all about the music and "Thank you so much for coming to support the artists who work so hard (to make millions of dollars for us tonight)." When you boil it down, it probably is about the music sometimes - many of the performers are really good. The Grammys have become my excuse to wear a dress I only get to wear once a year and see all the musicians I would never pay to see and/or care to see and/or have the privilege of seeing. For instance, how often do you get to see Justin Timberlake and The Reverend Al Green sing "Let's Stay Together"? Seriously. Never do you get to see that. And for how much shit they got, I really pretty much enjoyed the Stevie Wonder/Jonas Brothers thing (however you classify it). Some call it sacrilege and Disney-empire meddling, but like it or not, the Jonas Brothers sell MILLIONS of records in an age where no one buys records. So is it really wrong that THEY perform with a tour-de-force of his own time, Stevie Wonder, or are we just pouting because we don't see more bands like Broken Social Scene (for instance) performing at the Grammys? It's not a BSS world there and that's fine by me. The less the Grammys meddle in that world, the better.

However, on that note, seeing one very pregnant, polka-dotted M.I.A. perform with Jay-Z, Lil Wayne, and T.I. was pretty entertaining. And for whatever reason M.I.A. was nominated for a Grammy goes to show that someone around there is paying attention. She didn't win, of course, but we didn't expect that, did we? I was happy to see Robert Plant & Alison Krauss win everything they were up for - more or less, I was just happy to see Robert Plant, in person, talking to a bunch of people at the end of our row. Because he was in Led Zeppelin and that is pretty awesome and it doesn't seem like he should exist, but he does. I saw him.

And then Radiohead was sitting two rows away from us. I really loved the performance but was a little perplexed as to why Thom Yorke and Johnny Greenwood were the only two people on stage, besides a college marching band full of indie rockers who were probably shitting themselves to be playing on the same stage as 2/5 of Radiohead. I have never wished to know how to play the tuba until that night. And Thom was a reminder that as politically-incorrect as it may sound, I really need to own a leather jacket. I'm sorry, vegan and vegetarian friends, but those things make you look damn good. It was a nice contrast for Thom who was looking a bit, well, fluffy with all of his hair. Sheepy, even. Like a Fraggle, really.

Other close encounters of the night: Missy Elliot was sitting in front of me and when I bent over to grab my purse, she accidentally elbowed me in the head and was really sorry. She put her hand on the place where she hit me in a loving manner I didn't know her capable. At one point, Jay-Z was sitting right behind us (getting ready to perform with Coldplay). I have seen him in person one other time and not being a massive fan (my love for Jay-Z goes as far as any 20-something white indie rocker's could), that guy really has a "thing." An aura of power. The epitome of bling, dare I say. He's fantastic. And to answer the number of questions I received on Facebook, his lips are big and I didn't get an opportunity to compare them to the size of his nuts. His legs were crossed and if that is any indication, his nuts can't possibly be THAT big. So take note. I will investigate further.

Other star sightings include: Solomon Burke, Coldplay, Samuel L. Jackson, LL Cool J, Mario Lopez, and meeting eyes momentarily with Sir Paul McCartney (which is uncomfortable because it was during the Miley Cyrus/Taylor Swift performance about the woes of being 15 - how could we possibly have shared a moment when that was going on around us?). The Surprisingly Enjoyable award goes to Sugarland, though I hate that sewn-up, canned pop, masquerading as country. They sold me on it, though. Worst Performance goes to Katy Perry - her song is neither provocative, nor is she. I fell in love with Adele - not necessarily her songs but her lack of belief that she could possibly win a Grammy for Best New Artist, letting us know that she hasn't, as of yet, been consumed by the entitlement of that world. Keep fighting it, Adele. Keep fighting!